I read this post today and I’m so glad that there are smart people writing about what I have trouble articulating. We’ve dialed back quite a bit this summer. We’ve made a conscious decision to do less. Luke opted not to work as a ball person for a pro tennis tournament (qualifier) that is held locally the second week of July. It’s a fun experience but he decided he’d rather just watch matches and he’s still finishing up baseball and starting a pretty relaxed basketball league that’s only during July. Hannah had to choose between working as a ball person and playing in a tournament herself at her home club. It was a tough decision but she opted not to play. These were thoughtful decisions on both of their parts and I have to say that they are both content with the choices.

Last year they worked as ball people, played in the club tennis tournament, played basketball and Luke was finishing up playing on 2 baseball teams (the 2 team thing wasn’t planned, he was a “call up” and ended up just being “called up” for every game) all during the second week of July and it was too much. Even though nothing literally overlapped, we were all constantly running and I was trying to make arrangements for Kate and Mark to be with friends and family some of the time so that they wouldn’t have to be dragged around.

These choices between 2 (or more) “good” things are tough to make and I’m kicking myself that this is the first time that I’m making the kids choose.

I completely agree with the idea that the constant motion and running from one thing to the next-no matter how great or valuable the experience might be, allows NO time to process the experience. You don’t really enjoy it, let alone learn and grow from it. Not only that but anticipating an experience is also part of learning. Kim John Payne discusses this in his most EXCELLENT book, “Simplicity Parenting“. I talk more about the book here.

So, our summer days have allowed for more boredom, more playing around the neighborhood with friends, more quiet and I think we have all benefitted from it. As a result, we are eating dinner together nearly every night, enjoying ice cream cones on the back porch and everyone’s getting to bed at a reasonable hour-not an ideal hour but a reasonable hour most nights.

Luke, especially, is one who is benefitting most noticeably by this dialed back schedule. He spontaneously talks about the things he’s thinking about. I’ve noticed there hasn’t been much crisis or anxiety in those conversations. He’ll tell me funny things his friend said, randomly talk baseball, say out loud what he’s thinking about anything and it’s so nice. He’s a lot more calm this summer in spite of the boredom of doing less. He still drives his brother and sister crazy with his silliness, but I really think boredom suits him and all of us better than frenetic.

For my part, I’ve taken a break from school planning and have been tackling some projects that last summer’s running would never have allowed for. I spend long stretches of time at home and I’m a lot more calm as a result.