Category Archives: Family and Friends

Mish-Mash

1. A small success. I got it in the noggin that I wanted to let the kids try skiing this winter. Since I didn’t ski growing up, I have no idea why this grabbed me, but it did. Ironically, the snow-dumping actually made it harder to get to anywhere to try it out. When the roads were clear enough, the timing was not right. This week, things worked out and I was able to take them to a local county slope to try it and everyone LOVED it. I know, anti-SIMPLE, anti-less for Lent, but it’s been nagging.

this is how I feel about finally taking them.
Every time I took a picture of Mark, he would put his arms up like this and the next day, he would do the same thing at the bottom of the hill-every time. I guess he’s been watching a lot of Olympics.
2. Mark and I started a Dave Ramsey class last week. We have our first assignment. I started reading his books about 5 years ago when we were still paying off my student loans. We don’t have tons of debt, only the house and a small car payment but I know we can plan our purchases better and save for things that we want to have and do. I’ll post an update.
3. More snow! I’m really not that bummed about it. I think I will be in March, though. Strangely, 6 inches doesn’t seem like that much, now.
4. Getting our taxes done today. Another strange thing, I LOVE this process. We usually get a bunch of money back. I know, I know, we should pay less throughout the year and I would agree, but even our tax advisor agrees that it would be difficult since Mark’s income varies from week to week and month to month. We’re boring and NEVER buy something fun with this but it’s nice to get a chunk o’ change back.

Good Neighbors

For the first 2 years of our marriage, we rented housing. The first year, we rented an apartment that was right on the trolley line in a building close to Mark’s work. He was 2 minutes from work, I had a 50 minute commute, but I didn’t mind using that time to read. The 2nd year, we moved to a duplex that was about half way between our jobs. I walked to the trolley but most days I loved it because it reminded me of walking to school. Finally, going into our 3rd year of being married, we bought our first house and we’ve been here ever since.

We weren’t looking for houses in this neighborhood because it was a further commute for Mark. But I grew up in this neighborhood and this house was on the market and honestly, I was just nosy about what it looked like inside. The night we looked at it, Mark almost didn’t agree to see it. It was the last house on a list of about 6, all of which were dumps in the wealthier district we were trying to buy in. He reluctantly agreed and we fell in love. It had more space, more yard, more charm, more everything and was about $40,000 less than anything we were looking at in the other school district. Looking back, I know if we had bought a house in the other district, I might not have had the choice to stay home, so I consider it providence that this house was on the market.

My mom and dad each lived about a block away and I wondered whether their proximity would annoy Mark. He assured me that I’d probably be more annoyed than him.

It was a blessing living so close to my mom and also my step-mom and dad when we started having kids and I can’t believe I didn’t anticipate how wonderful it would be. Not only for emergencies and sitting when we went out (not that often) but the joy in having your parents get to know their  grandchildren so well.  I mean really know them as people and get to enjoy them. I actually don’t know how couples manage without family close by.

The other thing I didn’t anticipate was how important and wonderful neighbors are to a sense of home and well-being. I think because I worked so much and didn’t have children yet, I hadn’t realized how valuable neighbors are in the apartments that we rented. The very first day we moved into our house, our next-door neighbor placed 4 huge ripe-red tomatoes on our porch. He picked them from the garden that was between our yards and it was his way of introducing himself to me. It couldn’t have been a better introduction because it showed how open and sweet and generous he was. When we went on vacation, Bob either mowed our grass himself or when he became unable to cut grass, he’d pay his lawn-care guy to cut it. In that other neighborhood, people would report you to the municipal authorities for not having the grass mowed while on vacation. Bob and his wife, my dear friend, Lucy, really taught me how to be a decent neighbor. I say “decent” because since they set the bar, very few meet or exceed it. But they just showed how to care for others. I tend to be shy and more reserved and would never have thought on my own to extend myself the way they have. I would have went about my business, not bothering them, but being polite. “Hi, how are you?”. That would have been the extent of my interaction had it not been for them reaching out. That’s pathetic, since, as I said, I grew up in this neighborhood and knew a lot of the people and families.

This past snowstorm offered more examples of neighbors helping. We had countless offers to spend the night when we didn’t have power. My homeschooling buddy across the street made homemade mac-n-cheese for us and let me plug in the coffee in the morning. More than anything, it just made the situation less stressful overall knowing that we had friends to turn to if needed. It’s great how everyone looks out for each other.

Kids actually play in our neighborhood. We’re lucky that there are a lot of families with kids of all different ages. When my kids were toddlers and babies, they would stare out the front window for hours at the neighborhood kids playing basketball in the driveway across the street-even though its owners’ children were long grown and out of the house. That hoop had to come down because it was rotting but the son lives there now and my son just helped him shovel snow. The kids play football and street hockey, basketball and even release. (Remember release?) Parents look out for all the kids. They’re not afraid to discipline or play with each other’s kids and generally, all the kids are respectful and a hoot.

Nearly every Sunday in the summer, one family hosts a “happy hour”. It’s been going strong for 3 years. It’s a nice time to catch up on the week, touch base and have a laugh before the new week. It’s casual, not too fruify and minimal-my kind of party. Munchy, kid drink, one type of beer and the dad host usually comes up with a specialty drink. The specialty drink drives me crazy in my house because it COMPLICATES matters. It’s pretty close to an hour-usually 5-6 and anyone who’s available picks it up for the next week. No schedule, no rules, no invitations, no keeping track-though I suspect somebody keeps a spreadsheet in private. It’s a pretty good system.

If I had to move, I’d quiz potential new neighbors-maybe host a happy hour just to witness the dynamics to see how everyone got along and actually how well they knew one another.

Good neighbors are a treasure and when your lucky enough to have family close by too, it’s priceless!

SNOW!

It’s February and when you don’t have anywhere to go, snow is comforting. It’s BEAUTIFUL. Blankets the neighborhood in QUIET and white. It tells everyone and everything to STOP. As a result, I’ve never minded it. The kids look out the window constantly. I remember when Luke was old enough to shovel, he’d hope for snow. Now he’s old enough to shovel for neighbors and he loves it, but sometimes it is sooo heavy! I couldn’t wait for the kids to wake up to see how much snow there was.

Luke was up and out first, ready to shovel and couldn’t believe how high it was to dig to the walkway. He helped Mark all morning and most of the afternoon on our driveway and walks, then the neighbor’s, then his regular shoveling job. It would have been child abuse to send him over by himself. Mark helped him and I pitched in a little-I’m sort of a wimp when it comes to shoveling, I ache!

What I loved most about the day was how the neighbors were all out enjoying the novelty of it. We don’t see each other much in the winter. Everyone was helping each other and it was fun to walk around and see how beautiful everything looked. In my brother’s neighborhood, a woman went into labor the evening that it started and the ambulance wouldn’t come so the whole neighborhood pitched in to shovel them out.

my friend’s dog loved tunneling!
17″ at 7:30 a.m., still no sign of stopping.

It was exciting even though we lost power for almost 2 days. That was starting to get worrisome (no heat, no news, although we had water, the county was under a mandatory conservation order due to power interruption at the treatment facility). We have piles and piles of snow to play and contend with in the streets. I have to admit, going through this after the catastrophe in Haiti really made it difficult to complain. At least we had a safe and warm place to wait things out, food to eat and mostly everything else we needed.