I have a confession to make. I LOVE the Duggars! Admittedly, I am fascinated by giant, homeschooling families. But let me explain what I like about theirs, in particular.

First of all, I expected them all to be so sickeningly sweet and seemingly perfect that I would cringe, but that really isn’t the case. I bought their book as soon as I heard about it hoping to find some organizational or discipline wisdom and I was surprised at how inspiring the parents’ story was. Michelle and Jim Bob are both very honest about their failures as well as their successes. I love how their marriage is a true partnership. They have worked together on nearly every endeavor and decision from the beginning. Even while she was hugely pregnant, Michelle helped at their used car business. At times when either of them made a decision without seeking the others’ input and without prayer, it was a disaster. This partnership approach is enviable.

I’ve always felt like Mark and I have a good marriage but feel like he has his primary role and I have mine. He deals with this and I deal with that. We do this pretty naturally. When we have to work together on something, we defer to each others’ strengths and for the most part, we work together really well and are very effective. The Duggars’ approach as a partnership was inspiring, though. They are exponentially more effective and efficient than Mark and I are. I’m not comparing-our lives are completely different- but it made me really want to work together more than we do on everything-even little things and to pray about EVERYTHING more than we do.

The kids and I have been watching the shows since they became available on Netflix streaming. In spite of their extreme conservative values, the Duggars really aren’t judgmental. They are pretty clear that the choices they’ve made are a result of lots of prayer as it relates to their own family. This issue has been addressed in the show. They don’t condemn anyone else for their choices and they treat everyone with dignity and respect. Jim Bob’s niece, Amy, is a regular and she’s a lot more secular but says that they welcome her, nonetheless. In one show she made a comment that they never treat her like the pants-wearing, sinful cousin. She’s as much herself as they are but they clearly love and respect each other. The Duggars don’t seem to waste time comparing themselves to others-what a refreshing and novel concept.

By the way, I don’t think judging others is reserved for people with conservative values. Plenty of liberal people I know have very little tolerance for those with more conservative ideas than their own.

If you read the book, there are lots of examples of how the parents weren’t afraid to try anything. They weren’t afraid to take chances and make mistakes. They’ve learned so much by not being afraid to try something even when they didn’t know anything about a project or venture-like running a convenience store or starting a towing business. Again, though, their experiences seem almost miraculous when driven by prayer and disastrous when impulsive.

Let’s talk about the kids. They are normal, funny and articulate. They aren’t afraid to be themselves. Occasionally, the show also features “The Bates” family and tend to make them look like the homeschooling wierdos, in contrast. The girls and I think Mrs. Bates harbors some intense jealousy for Michelle and masked her criticism in carefully stated “compliments” like “Michelle tolerates a lot more chaos than I do, so she doesn’t mind the children running around, screaming having great fun”-something like that. Another time she said something like “Michelle is so calm about taking time for herself, she’ll just decide she has to nurse the baby and disappear.”  We’re not big Bates fans.

Finally, about Jim Bob. I really thought I’d love to hate this guy. As it turns out, he is great. He’s not afraid to laugh at himself and is just very matter-of-fact about his principles-again without judging others. The producers do a good job of walking that fine line between poking a little fun and not making him look like a complete buffoon. As often as they show him being goofy, they show how smart and resourceful he is.

So, I’m a fan. If I’ve forgotten anything, I’m sure I’ll post again about the Duggars.