Mark’s making his first Reconciliation today. I wasn’t sure at the beginning of the year that he’d be ready, spiritually speaking-Lord knows he’s ready behaviorally. I wanted to be sure he appreciates the magnitude of the grace he’ll receive, what it means to be forgiven no matter what and frankly, to remember his sins.
He knows right from wrong, for sure. What’s hilarious (and this has been true for some of the other kids) is that he’s worried that he won’t be able to think of any sins when he gets in there. Without being specific (“How about when you complain about doing your chore every morning”, “How about when you kicked your brother last week?”), I’ve been trying to guide him in the “types” of things that little boys do that could be viewed as sinful. I don’t want to hand him his litany of sins on a platter. But honestly, how hard can it be? So, I’ve been trying to remind him to pray to the Holy Spirit to help him remember his sins so he can make a good confession, we’ve done an examination of conscience for kids (though not as regularly as we should) and he knows his prayers. He doesn’t seem to be worried about the progression of things once inside the confessional, so that’s good. The other kids have also tried to “help” him prepare but I don’t think it really has. They’ve told him Fr. will tell him he’s NEVER getting to heaven for THAT sin. Nice. But we are all excited for him. Is that the right word?
On another note….but related, I’ve been reading a little book about St. Gertrude the Great who is credited for this prayer on behalf of souls in purgatory. I came across something pretty humbling.
In all Gertrude’s writings, among the numberless irresistible invitations of the Heart of Jesus urging men to seek Him in the Eucharist, we find but one passage breathing the spirit of severity. It refers to those communicants who permit their tongue to be stained by sins of uncharitableness and criticism. One day after after Holy Communion, as St. Gertrude was thinking with what care she should use her tongue, honored and sanctified as it was above all the members of her body by the Body of Christ being laid thereon in Holy Communion, Our Lord instructed her thus: “One who does not abstain from vain, idle, or sinful discourses, and who approaches Holy Communion without repentance, is like a person who gathers a heap of stones at the threshold of his door to throw at his guest when he comes to visit him, or beats him cruelly on the head with a rod.
Okay, then. Oopsy. Luckily, I was planning to receive the sacrament myself, today. What struck me about this was that the admonition wasn’t regarding what we might normally consider more “serious” sins, (lying, cheating, stealing, coveting) but a behavior which is almost second-nature in our culture, that is judging and questioning or criticizing their choices, weaknesses or mistakes. Those who know me, know that I don’t engage in malicious gossip as a matter of habit, but I do occasionally indulge in the type of uncharitable discourse that I think Jesus spoke to Gertrude about. It’s tough not to criticize or judge others, either in thought or in speaking. But, clearly, it’s not my place and this passage gives good reason not to approach Jesus in the Eucharist if I’ve engaged in it without asking forgiveness and the grace to refrain from it.
It’s sort of like when one of the kids calls one of his siblings a nasty name in my presence. Somehow, it’s more offensive to me than if they did it when I was out of the room. I get it.