See it up there? Yes, that blog banner. Hannah is becoming pretty proficient with photoshop. I followed Sarah’s tutorial on how to make a blog banner using Picasa. I was getting decent at it but I realized that I was viewing it as a chore and not looking forward to doing it. I like when you go to a blog and it has a familiar banner. So, I asked Hannah to design one. I wanted it to be simple and generic enough for any season. I also wanted it to reflect my life and what’s most important to me.

As we talked, obviously our house was a no-brainer. It literally houses my treasure and the title of my blog is “Being Home”. I also really love our house. I always say, it’s not perfect but it’s perfect for us. That other silhouette is our apple tree which is practically a part of the family. It was Hannah’s idea to include silhouettes of the kids running. She got them from photos that were in iphoto. I love how the kids are white silhouettes. Just a few consultations along the way and I love the result.

Hannah posted a more detailed progression of her work if you’re interested. I’m amazed at how her creativity is apparent in any media. My brother is a computer graphics wiz and has been bugging me to let her use the computer to create for years. I’ve held off and I’m so glad I did. I think there’s important brain functioning happening when a child puts pencil to paper-no matter what the finished product is. Hannah clearly is wired to draw and I think it would have been a mistake to turn the sensory experience into clicks and taps. I know her brain is still growing but she spends a balanced amount of time painting and drawing and designing on paper-so I don’t worry.

If you’d like Hannah to design a blog banner for you, contact her. She’s good and she’ll charge a fair price. This project took about 2 hours. If you’re a dear friend, she’ll do it for free.

Hannah and I have been talking a lot about blogging. She’s loving the creative outlet and seeing what girls her age-sometimes across the country-are up to. So far, she prefers the tone of it (the blogging teens she’s met are positive and encouraging) to the sarcasm and snarkiness that girls exhibit IRL.

I’ve liked writing for the sake of getting words somewhere. Out of the brain onto something flat. I read a great post  that has inspired me to post more simply for the sake of recording. This is a good idea in my case because my memory stinks.

Up to this point, I haven’t written much about day-to-day or about the kids and I still might not if I think it’s too personal. But a lot of funny happens nearly every day and I don’t want to forget those things. I still have to figure out the boundaries (physically and emotionally). I definitely don’t want to be blogging while the funny is happening, so to speak. Don’t want to be blogging instead of living. So, I’ll have to jot down some notes for blogging later. Emotional boundaries would be anything that would really embarrass or hurt anyone. So, I’ll try this.

I think I’ve worried up to this point that posts would be boring but Rachel makes a GREAT case for not caring. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t care about “traffic” or popularity through this blog. Boring is fine if it helps capture something about our days for us.

Is anyone else a tad freaked out by the natural disasters that are happening everywhere? I’m no geologist but it makes sense to me that when there’s major seismic activity in one place, it will likely affect the earth all over for quite a while. I won’t even recap but 2010 began with the earthquake in Haiti.

I have a friend who lives with her family in Nashville. I really felt silly calling the first day thinking, “Nashville’s a big city, she probably hasn’t been affected directly.” When I didn’t get in touch with her, I figured, she and her husband are both physicians and are likely working extra as “first responders” or something.  I finally got in touch with her tonight and it turns out her hospital was flooded and they couldn’t even work. She was lucky that only her garage was flooded but many of her neighbors lost everything. She was clearly shell-shocked and really couldn’t even begin to describe the devastation but emphasized that she was blessed and was just in a mode to try to do what she could to help where possible.   She did mention that people were criticizing the media for making such a big deal about Opryland but she said that it’s the largest employer in Nashville next to the hospitals so it is a big deal.

I feel pretty helpless.

But seriously, what’s going on? I don’t think it’s possible to prepare for events like this. She’s a serious camper and even she said they were running out of food after 2 days. I remember when a second snow storm came after the big blizzard of 2010 and the shelves in the stores were eerily scant. Scary.

I wonder what would happen if we had a national rather than a regional disaster. I don’t think it would be pretty. She thought quickly to get cash and could only get a $100. The guy who gave it to her at the bank warned her that nobody would likely be able to make change for it but she took it anyway. I’ve always wondered whether cash would have value in the aftermath of a major catastrophe. I’m thinking not. Bottled water, food and bandages or other medical supplies would likely be more valuable.

Just had to rant a little. It’s what’s on my mind tonight. Please pray for the people of Nashville. It’s a city full of real people, not just country music stars and historic theaters.

I haven’t told family or most friends about this blog. I’ve told a few other bloggers but we’re all in the doing less mode and quite frankly, I wouldn’t add my blog to my list of “must reads”. As a result….it’s pretty quiet here but that’s ok. I’m still learning about all of it. Learning what I like and don’t like about other blogs I read.

I realized that I don’t like giveaways. I usually don’t even read the post. I honestly don’t want free stuff and certainly don’t want to figure out how I have to click around and comment in order to enter. I understand it’s a way for bloggers to increase traffic or get sponsors or whatever. I also understand I’m likely in the minority not liking them and maybe someday this blog will be so wildly popular that I’ll change my mind and rake in big bucks from tons of sponsors. I’m not holding my breath, though.

I do love beautiful photography on blogs-since I’m not gifted visually, I’m not hopeful that beautiful photos will ever be what attracts readers to my pages.

I love tutorials. They take a lot of time, though so I may or may not ever get around to a few of those.

Love good recipes but most of the ones I find are from other blogs so I’ll probably just link.

I love reading about brain research and the ideal conditions for learning so I’ll likely refer to those articles and studies.

I enjoy reading about learning successes on other homeschool blogs. This one’s tricky because as the kids get older, there’s an element of privacy. I learned very early that it was an invasion of privacy to share Hannah’s writing with close family and hardly ever do it-but I think I could be general-maybe.

I think sharing failures is just as important. I’m referring to parenting failures here. I think it’s good to see that we all make the same mistakes and none of us is perfect.

Finally, I love good stories about faith or answered prayers. One of the best ones I’ve ever read was this one on Elizabeth Foss’ blog. Hers is one I read just about every day. She’s a great writer and clearly anyone raising and educating 9 children has lots of wisdom and faith to share.

So, why haven’t I told most friends and family about the blog? Not sure, I think because it’s sort of a unilateral exposure. I’m not comfortable putting myself out there with no way to respond if someone in my family forms an opinion and isn’t as open about it. Hannah and I have talked a lot about this.  I’m drawn to certain blogs, blogs about  being home with the kids, homeschooling, saving money and practicing our faith. Consequently, I’m more likely to write about those types of things and I don’t think those things are necessarily interesting to most of my family. For one thing, I’m certain that writing openly about my faith and writing about certain devotions or novenas will freak some of my family members out (maybe some friends). Anonymity makes it easier to be candid.

Before I took the plunge, I was emailing Sarah from Clover Lane about blogging and safety. Since she posts photos and the real names of her kids, I wondered if she’s ever had an issue. She hasn’t but does take some precautions related to not revealing their specific location. I realized during the exchange that I was as concerned about being open to ridicule or contempt by people that I knew by writing openly about my life. Again, that could be one-sided. She agreed but said at 40 years old, she finally had to get over worrying about what other people think. She also has a big family and I thought it was hilarious that some of her sisters-in-law read her blog but don’t admit it but sometimes they’ll slip refer to something she’s written about.

I do worry about what people think but maybe it’s time I get over it.

Remember at the beginning of this year when the blogosphere was abuzz with everyone choosing their word of the year? I hadn’t started a blog when I chose one, so I thought I’d post mine now.

I either didn’t hear about this last year or heard about it too late to be inspired to choose one. I have never been one to make resolutions. I do look forward to the change and momentum that a new year can bring but resolutions never, well, resonated with me.

But choosing a word really does motivate me. I considered about 4 seriously. I even had it narrowed down to 2 and almost hi-jacked Sarah’s word (discipline)-she made such a great case for it in her circumstances and Lord knows, I could stand a little more of it in my life. But then I realized that it wasn’t exactly what I needed to work on.

“Balance” was a possibility because I really think it’s necessary to peace. I’m mindful that balance is important in every endeavor. I didn’t choose this word, though, because I felt like other things needed to happen before I could really work on balance in all areas of my life.

“Patience” made the short list, who couldn’t benefit from a healthy dose of that? Again, I felt like there was a necessary precursor to this which, if not addressed, would set me up for failure. I don’t like to spin my wheels.

Finally, it was 100% clear. (Yes, I considered “clarity” but that’s not the word). “Simplify”. That’s it, that’s the one thing that I crave….simplicity. I didn’t choose “simplicity” because it doesn’t impose any action on my part, simplicity is sort of a state of affairs. “Simplify” is a command, but a gentle one. My friends know that I’m in a constant pursuit to pare down, dejunk, and clear my spaces. But I really don’t think I’ve been intentional about simplifying my life in other ways. I talk about it when I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed but it’s always been more of a reaction than a proaction.

I’m taking it one step at a time but really trying to think about simplifying everything, including meals and shopping, the kids’ school days, managing the house, making commitments, clothing, relationships, entertainment. It’s definitely a challenge especially since I’m only one of 6 people in the family and I can’t simplify without some cooperation on everyone’s part.

Surprisingly, the blog I started about simplifying is helping. It’s definitely keeping me accountable. I can even imagine quitting that blog some day when I’ve streamlined and might view it as an obligation or sabotaging my efforts to do so. For now, though, it’s been a good thing.

I’ll keep you posted on how my efforts to simplify are going.

1. Boys and showers…..what is the aversion to soap and shampoo? I had one friend whose son insisted that since he swam everyday in the summer, showers were just a waste of water.

2. Want to make a million dollars? Figure out a way to keep your gutters from freezing solid and creating THESE!

3. Valentine’s Day…Anyone have a good picture book on this holiday or Saint? I had a really lame cartoon dinosaur one, it didn’t even make sense, I finally just threw it away, I couldn’t even subject the thrift store shoppers to it.

4. Mark flew to L.A. for a professional conference. By the time he gets home, he will have spent @ 26 hours traveling for about 6 hours of professional wisdom, but he says it was worth it!

5. Want to make a million dollars? Organize a professional conference for stay-at-home mothers. I’ve always thought this. You could book great parenting speakers, pediatricians to answer all your questions, experienced moms of many or few, booths with freebies of diapers and wholesome food tips and all manner of gadgets for making your job easier. I’ve always wanted to ATTEND a conference for professional moms-never wanted to organize one, though. GO FOR IT!

6. Check out this post by Sarah about training our sons to be attentive and self-sufficient young men and husbands. I’m sort of a failure at this. I feel like I require responsibility on the part of all of the kids but am an utter failure at following through. It seems once the novelty has worn off from being at the ironing board (don’t they always want to do it before they’re big enough to hold a heavy, burning appliance with one hand), at the kitchen sink for more than playing in suds, at the stove, or using a broom, it’s just easier to do it myself. I try-but darn it, I know it’s not habit, I keep having to SAY it.

7. A final sentiment because 7 is harder to come up with than I thought!

I wish I could save this post for a time when people are actually reading this blog. I’m certain I’m preaching to the choir here since only my daughter and maybe one other person really even knows about this. Anywho, my husbands’ or my kids’ hard-earned or gifted $ will NEVER! I repeat NEVER be used to purchase clothing from any company that objectifies and sexualizes kids. And by “kids”, I mean anyone under the age of 21-even if they’re made up to look older. Let me go further to state that I won’t allow the kids to wear hand-me-downs from above-referenced companies-sorry. Seriously, have you done a google image search for Abercr*mbie? It’s gross. I couldn’t believe my parental controls didn’t block most of them.

Just out of curiosity, I went to A&F’s website and clicked on “kids” just to see what would pop up. It was wierd, I tell ya. You couldn’t even see the clothes, though I could tell the child models had many layers on. Three kids were in that Brooke shields, CK pose, you know the one that caused much controversy in the 80’s. Except these kids were on a beach and you could only see them from the back. Bizarre.

I haven’t worn CK since I saw a toddler in one of their print ads years ago that was made up to look like a teenager and looking at the camera in a suggestive way. I know CK doesn’t care about my piddly money, they’re doing just fine, I’m sure. But for me, I just would rather not promote the label.

I’ve been hearing a lot about “Hollister”, how it’s popular and sort of a rival to A & F. Honestly, my oldest is just getting big enough to buy jr. clothing but some sizes just don’t fit right, so this is all new to me. I haven’t been to the store so I have no idea whether they promote their clothes in the same manner as A & F. Judging by the website or a quick “google image” search-not much difference.

The prices at both stores are also exploitative, so count me and mine out. So far, Hannah agrees with me.  I know as she gets older, it might be harder for her to stick to these convictions but I’m not budging.

I’m aware of the possibility that the stores I do buy from probably exploit children in a different way (child labor, etc.) and I’d like to know about it. I’d like to be socially conscious when I spend hard-earned money. Educate me, please.

I think the topic of staying home with the kids is broad and in this post, by way of introduction, I’ll tell you how I got here.

I always wanted to be a lawyer. From the time I was in 8th grade. I remember so clearly the day I decided. I was mowing a lawn-a job I inherited from my older brother. He got paid $25 bucks a week to mow the lawn at a small insurance agency which was basically a triangle patch of grass in front of a building. It was easy. I guess I did a pretty decent job because the owner of the insurance agency, a friend of my dad’s, sent me over to his house a few blocks away. I rolled the mower over there, saw his wife sunning herself in the back yard and told her I was there to cut the grass. So there I was cutting this guy’s grass and I think his wife was sort of just stunned by the picture-a 13 year old girl mowing the lawn. She asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I never really thought about it before but I blurted out “be a lawyer”. My mom, who was raising 5 kids basically on her own with the help of public assistance, always warned me never to depend on my husband’s salary-that I should choose a profession and she didn’t think teachers or nurses were treated or paid well enough. So that day, I decided I was going to be a lawyer.

I did go to law school. I got married the same summer I graduated. I clerked for a federal judge for 2 years, got a job at a big law firm downtown and pretty much planned to have 3 or 4 kids and put them all in day care. I’m so embarrassed by a conversation I had with my in-laws on this topic. When asked whether I planned to stay home with the kids if we ever had them, I think I said…verbatim..”I didn’t spend 3 years in law school to stay home all day with kids.” YUK! It makes me gag to think I was so condescending to my mother-in-law who spent her life making a home for her family.

What happened between then and now? I think I am lucky* that when I got pregnant, I despised the stress of litigation and the pressure to work long hours at the big firm. I was horrible at capturing my time for billing but that’s a separate post.  I also feel lucky that my firm didn’t  start my salary commensurate with my peers but paid me the same as the first-years. I actually took a pay cut which isn’t typical for a federal clerk going to a big firm. But I liked this firm better than the other big ones. I got pregnant almost 2 years into this job and was ready for a change. At first, I was so happy just at the prospect of having a maternity leave. (Yay! paid time off work-I should get pregnant more often!). But then I started to dread getting a whole other person ready for the day. The stress of working and taking care of another person. I always noticed the moms on the bus in the morning, their sleepy babies and toddlers in-tow along with strollers and diaper bags. I was also getting to know some of the moms at the firm and I never got the impression that they were doing both jobs well. Still, by this time, I wasn’t thinking of my heart being broken leaving the baby. I knew I’d love my baby, I just didn’t anticipate falling in love with her and wanting to be with her all the time. I was a decent aunt and always a responsible babysitter, but I so didn’t anticipate considering the heart of a baby or my heart after having one. In case you can’t tell, I’m pretty matter-of-fact. It sounds wierd but I wasn’t a parent yet-how could I really know?

I cringe to think where I’d be had I gotten the salary I wanted and the pay-raise. We definitely would have bought a more expensive house and it would have been much harder to walk away from the money.  When I gave my 2 weeks’ notice, the partners at the firm were kind of stunned and were willing to accommodate my schedule and salary demands. They offered flex schedule, part-time, work-from-home, a raise, blah-blah-blah. It was tempting, but I had accepted a position working 2 days a week for a sole practitioner 5 minutes from home, making almost no money. (By the way, I highly recommend working 2 days a week-I think everybody should). By then, it was a lifestyle decision.  And it really worked for us, Mark could be home on the days I went to work. But I still wasn’t a mom yet. I had no idea how grateful I’d be for that choice. Looking back, it was one of the most difficult choices I ever made but I had such peace when I turned down the big firm. Mark was so supportive and great about it all. If he panicked about cutting our income in half, he didn’t show it. He always wanted me to stay home because his mom did and he just thought that’s what moms should do. My mom couldn’t stay home and while things definitely got a little wild with 4 boys in the house, it’s what I knew and I turned out o.k. When my 3rd baby was born, I left my part-time job to be home full-time and I’ve never looked back.

I’m so grateful to know what I’m NOT missing. I remember one day after I had my 4th baby, I put all the kids down for a nap (they were all under 5) and my then-2-year old asked if I could lay with her. The sun was streaming in through the windows, it was quiet and I loved being able to say “yes”. In that moment, I was so grateful, to not have to rush to a meeting or return a phone call or finish a brief or whatever. My time was really my own and I could say “yes”. I have lots of those moments. I’ll look at the clock and think what I’d be doing if I still worked and there isn’t one part of me that misses it.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of days when I think I have too much to do to take time to snuggle or listen to a dream or really just be present. But more often than not, I’m able to enjoy just being here with them. Being in the present is an exercise that even the most disciplined spiritual leaders have to practice so, I practice, too.

So, that’s my boring story. One day, I’ll write about the obnoxious things people have said to me referring to my choice or in defense of their reasons for going to work. Things like, “I think it’s important to stimulate your brain with real work so it doesn’t turn to mush” as I’m nodding my head with a stunned look on my face unable to form words because I can’t believe what this person has just said to me. But that’s another story.

*As a footnote I should mention that I don’t believe in “luck”. I believe the events leading up to my decision to stay home was part of God’s plan for me. Yep, I’m one of those. 

Could I be addicted?…To starting blogs, that is. I only started a brand-spanking-new-years-in-the-pipelines blog 6 days ago and I’m already starting another. Crazy because the title and theme of the first blog is how to SIMPLIFY. Am I BIPOLAR or something? No. I just realized that I wanted to keep the focus of that first blog on simplifying. I didn’t want to clutter it up with thoughts and stories and anecdotes about being home and other stuff. I love those types of blogs (moms-at-home ones), they inspire me, they direct me, I get great recipes from them, they make me and the kids laugh and I generally just enjoy reading how other moms enjoy being home with their children. In the case of some moms, like this amazing one and this less conventional but no less amazing one, I am humbled. I never have and never will be in the same ballpark as them but it’s nice to be inspired and a peek into their daily struggles gives me perspective on mine.

I’ve always wanted to write a book and I thought this would be a good book title (“A Case for Simple”). The book would be about how making things more simple improves one’s quality of life. Choosing to do less is almost always the better path. I also think this can be applied in many areas of home and family life as well as my interactions in the world. Less is more. There’s truth to that and I intend to prove it.